cadence & acceptance.

it’s nearly fall in this college town, as the packed church halls and out-the-door restaurant lines testify. anticipation lingers, nearly palpable in the air, and i realize that this is the first august that jared and i have known together without class schedules and syllabi awaiting one or both us. yet still we feel, still we experience, the energy rising and excitement building, the hope mixed with fear and uncertainty and adventure spiraling up into the sky.

the carefree chaos of these summer months is coming to an end and for one whose life is still amidst great transition, i cannot say i’m disappointed. summer is a splendid thing, but its unstructured spirit has allowed very little in the way of growing roots, and frankly, i’m ready to be planted. the looming fall brings opportunity for just enough pattern and schedule, constant and rhythm to learn what it means to be us in this place, digging in, grabbing hands, finding home. i’m certain its here, somewhere among this wonderful church and these treasured souls and this flourishing university whose students are so full of promise and possibility i’m tempted to move into a dorm room just to dream alongside them.

i think of the weeks to come, of bible studies and mentorship, of baby showers and finding a place to love and reach and serve, of planning for my middle sister’s january wedding and preparing to move into our home. this fall will add a sizable volume of content to our life’s ever-growing collection of happenings and i’m so eager and ready and willing to learn what there is to be found amongst the events on the calendar and all else that can’t be categorized in such a way.

there is happiness within all my intentions and goals wrapped up in this semester, but i would be remiss to ignore the reality of their uncertainty. life so rarely goes according to human plan, yet i find that in the mixture of these truths, in the combination of gladness for cadence returning to life and acceptance that the unknown always emerges, there is peace and assurance, because He must be the one who guides and shepherds, protecting, allowing, aligning. man plans his ways, but Lord directs his steps, and the joy found in heeding His direction is abundant. He has led us many places i never would have planned to go, cancer at 22, a difficult pregnancy, a colicky baby, but the goodness found among those agonizing moments is the treasure in the field that my heart was breathless to find. He is faithful to both fill and pour out, sometimes quietly among appointments and plans, sometimes loudly amidst chaos and rapid, untold change.


so let the plans be made, the calendar fill, the invitations extend. may i structure days and schedule weeks and celebrate the newness of a season unfolding, all the while clinging to His promises, His guidance, His joy.