2014: the beginning.

it’s the first monday of 2014, the first full week of the year lingering close. i feel somewhat poetic and reflective in response to this reality, but mostly i’m just ready to get my game face on, ready to run toward the newness.

i see you 2014
 i see you, 2014. i’m coming for you.

my sister and her fiance will marry on Saturday, a joyous beginning to the new year. these upcoming days will be filled with guests and greetings and plans and promises and i could go on for pages with my thoughts on covenant and union and jubilee but there are seating charts and silverware and celebration to attend to for now, so the philosophizing will just have to wait.

i’m starting a new job this year as the program & communication coordinator for His Grace Foundation, serving the patients and families on the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit of Texas Children’s Hospital. our family’s best friends founded the organization and my mom runs it now.  it’s a perfect fit, completely meshing with my lifestyle as a stay at home mom. this opportunity was just about the only thing that could have taken me away from my previous position, from which i leave grateful, better, bittersweet. the new beckons, so onward i go.

i’m dreaming big dreams for the blog this year. big dreams that involve goal-setting (via Lara Casey’s PowerSheets!), stretching, inching my toes a bit closer to the edge, fully aware that falling off is all the more possible the closer i get. it’s just can’t imagine that playing it safe with this space is going to lead to anything good, anything that matters. i’m risking, believing, anchoring, hoping, wild & free-ing in many areas and praying this is the place i can make some sense of all of it.

i’m dead set on intentional motherhood this year. always have been, pray i always will be, but this season demands instinct, focus, drive, vision like i’ve never had or needed before now.  Owen is 17 months old, a charming, curious, friendly, engaging little boy whose baby days have slipped away and we’re marching into the thick of character, personality, foundation. these moments matter. now.

there’s so much more. there’s foster care and a husband abroad at least twice before the year is half over and new home projects and friends and church and somewhere in there i’m claiming 2014 as the year i submit to God’s commands to rest, sabbath, be. those i know who accomplish the most, who remain the most humble, whose mouths’ drip with words of life prioritize rest. i’m taking this year to investigate the theory that lists and goals and hopes and dreams won’t be negated by rest, they’ll be enhanced by it. i’ll take a little of that win-win situation, please.

this week, i’ll pop back in with a few more pieces of my 2014 plan – a book list, a few goals, maybe another thought or two. i’m inspired by the creation account in Genesis as I pray my basic hope for this site in the next few months – may it take form to then be filled. i need structure here, the freedom that comes from boundaries. once those are in place, i don’t know what will come from them, but it could be something really beautiful.

we’ll see.

it’s a new year; anything could happen.

covenant pulse.

how does one approach the ever so common yet extraordinarily miraculous combining and cycling and circling and celebrating? a son turns one and a sister turns wife and the corners of my lips turn up as i revel in the sacredness of this end of summer season. 

the wedding day was warm and hinted of rain and the clouds collided when covenant was made, thunder clapping as the two became one. the bride radiated and the groom beamed and the room held dignity and joy and holiness and humanity all inside. worship, gospel, vow, communion, kiss; a promise begun, sealed and unquenchable. time stood still yet raced ahead and the celebration was excitement and laughter and energy and glee, unraveled wild and free. marriage is that which is so delicate yet daring, pivotal yet personal and the wedding of two so full of life and love were a vibrant reflection of this. friends and family milled and marveled and the evening spoke welcome and relationship and truth far into the night, the souls, the memory. 


it seems there are moments that burrow themselves more deeply into the nest of time, determined to be engraved into its very essence and not forgotten. burrowed and engraved, captured and sealed, every word was weighty and every nuance profound. it is joy and grace to be a part of such meaning and my heart stands still yet again as i remember the beauty of the entering bride and waiting groom, struck by the reality that this will happen again in the kingdom to come. all sense of home, all radiance and essence and depth of this earthly reflection stir my heart toward the union sealed yet fulfilling. He is all the words i’m trying to find to describe and, it seems a dream, we are His now and His to be forever. this was the covenant pulse beating as two humans united and it still resonates loudly in my ears, ushering in the magnificence of our union with He Who Came. 

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”
-revelation 19:7-9-

what knowledge to hold and wonder to anticipate. the people of God are remembrance and hope intertwined and the God of the people is kindness and tenderness as He weaves metaphor and symbol and reflection of His goodness before our eyes. when the words escape and our hearts overwhelm we think on the truth and we look forward with gladness, for He has come and He is coming again. thank you, jeff and olivia, for mirroring the truth, our hearts rejoice and anticipate along with yours.